I'm just wondering why did suddenly the world gets cruel at me? Why did everything I asked for in my life that I already had is now gone... Was it a twist of faith? or I'm simply paying for all the wrong things I've done before in my life. Having regrets for all of those I hurt and mourn for my wrong doings I know will not be enough. I hope after I asked for forgiveness my world will turn right side up again.

I always look cool though! but, deep inside I am dying. Mourning crying for losing Ghayle and whats important to us. Wish I didn't left her when she asked me to stay.

Sometimes I think it's a little unfair for me that when I straight up then things got messy and real ugly. All my hopes of having her back in my life has grown thin and so is my heart that is severely broken I know will never heal.

What else I could say to Ghayle but thank your for being such a special part of my life!
Thank you for sharing hopes and buildings dreams with me when we were still together!
I will surely miss those times that were together and thank your for all those sweet memories we once shared!
I also thank you for sharing the love, care and sweetness of your heart to me!
For our special someone.... I wish I just had a chance to meet you and also so sorry for those times that I wasn't there when you both need me! I was really hoping to meet you next year but I know your off to a better place before it could happen! How I wish I could just turn back time and not missed a thing, and probably this never happened!

Depression always tries to kick in, but the one whose causing it is the same person who gives me reason and the one who helps me to hold on and fight! Now thats she is truly gone I just hope that I can still manage to keep it at bay.

My tears meant nothing anymore than pain and regrets...